1 00:00:01,630 --> 00:00:04,700 James, great speech for the Scouts of America. 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,300 Although for future reference, 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,040 we got to keep the mayor away from words like "Webelo." 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,220 I'll add that to the list. 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,150 We've got these two school closings up in the Bronx. 6 00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:19,470 Whoever goes up there is going to take a real beating, so, uh... 7 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:21,510 Stuart, why don't you handle that? 8 00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:22,710 They're here! 9 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,640 They're here, they're here, they're here. 10 00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:26,240 Okay, people, listen up. 11 00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:27,600 According to Manhattan magazine, 12 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:31,960 as of 9:23 on this glorious October morning, 13 00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:34,480 I, Michael T. Flaherty, am now officially... 14 00:00:34,580 --> 00:00:37,010 the sexiest man in Manhattan. 15 00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:39,430 (ALL CHEERING) 16 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,370 JFK Jr. took himself out of the running. 17 00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:47,980 I don't want this to disrupt things here at the office. 18 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,720 After all, I'm no sexier today than I was yesterday, so. 19 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:53,940 What about Alec Baldwin? 20 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,050 Not technically a New Yorker. 21 00:00:56,730 --> 00:00:58,550 Now the mayor's being honored on Friday 22 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,390 by the association of Christians and Jews. 23 00:01:00,490 --> 00:01:01,710 You're all expected to attend. 24 00:01:01,810 --> 00:01:03,990 Please, keep in mind these are religious people. 25 00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:06,090 So choose your dates with care. 26 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,120 There are ten commandments. 27 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,220 I'd like your dates to check out on at least seven of them. 28 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,160 That's kind of tough, Mike. 29 00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:15,080 Even assuming they haven't killed anybody, 30 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:17,190 They still have to go six for nine. 31 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,470 What about Billy Baldwin? 32 00:01:23,470 --> 00:01:25,490 Los Angeles. 33 00:01:25,590 --> 00:01:27,010 Do we have to bring a date? 34 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:29,820 No, but anybody who doesn't bring a date 35 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,700 will be placed on Helen duty for the evening. 36 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,300 Oh! 37 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,260 Personally, there's nothing I'd rather do 38 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,220 than spend an evening with the mayor's wife, 39 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,410 but unfortunately for me, being the sexiest man in New York, 40 00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:42,630 I already got a date. 41 00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:45,470 You're telling me there isn't a single Baldwin brother 42 00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:47,570 in any of the boroughs? 43 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:50,300 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 44 00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,690 Ashley, maybe I need to clarify. 45 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,970 I have no comment. I have nothing to say. 46 00:02:07,070 --> 00:02:09,620 I have no idea what you're talking about, okay? 47 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,060 Fine. Just one final question, though. 48 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,140 One. 49 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,240 Well, it's divided into three parts. 50 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:17,660 Paul, I have something important 51 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,020 to discuss with Miss Schaeffer. 52 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,330 Could you allow us a moment of privacy, please? 53 00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:22,410 Gladly. 54 00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:27,370 (WHISTLING) 55 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,060 I take it the magazine came out? 56 00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:37,820 Next on the runway, Mr. Michael Flaherty. 57 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,870 And... 58 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:44,250 He's wearing... 59 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,350 His Marky Marks. 60 00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:50,490 Named for a man who, while quite sexy in his own right, 61 00:02:50,590 --> 00:02:53,240 must now toil in Flaherty's shadow. 62 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,260 Do you mind? People are eating here. 63 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,160 (IN GERMAN ACCENT) What? Am I too sexy for you? 64 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,190 Yes. Yes. I am so woozy with desire, 65 00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:05,070 I can barely finish eating this carrot. 66 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:08,830 Then I will just... Wait for you here. 67 00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,930 Thank you. 68 00:03:11,570 --> 00:03:13,580 (CHUCKLES) 69 00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:15,980 Ashley... 70 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:19,940 You want a piece of this? 71 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:32,530 Would I be having sex with you or with the sexiest man in New York? 72 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:35,360 Well, you can't have one without the other. 73 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,620 Then I'll pass. 74 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:38,900 What do you mean you pass? 75 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,620 You can't pass on an opportunity like this. 76 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,020 I've slept with you before. 77 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,590 I'm familiar with the procedure. 78 00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:48,430 I wouldn't pass on a chance to sleep with the sexiest woman... 79 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:50,270 Don't finish that sentence, mister! 80 00:03:50,370 --> 00:03:52,370 Because that's you! 81 00:03:54,690 --> 00:03:56,040 PAUL: Mike? Yes, Paul. 82 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:58,320 I know that Ashley Schaeffer's your girlfriend, 83 00:03:58,420 --> 00:03:59,880 and let me just say, I think she's wonderful. 84 00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:02,320 She's beautiful, charming, witty, a real catch. 85 00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:03,400 Spill it, Paul. 86 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,510 She's evil, Mike. 87 00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:09,850 I'm telling you, she's all over me. It's eerie. 88 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,330 It's like she can read my mind. 89 00:04:12,430 --> 00:04:14,530 She's just on a hot streak. It's going to pass. 90 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,300 I'm telling you, she's out to get me. 91 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:17,660 What is she on to now? 92 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,820 Some internal audit of this high school out in Queens. 93 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,860 What's that all about anyway? 94 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,860 We got a custodian 95 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,960 at a high school in Queens, 96 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:28,910 happens to own a fishing boat. 97 00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:31,370 A municipal worker who owns a boat. So? 98 00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:34,670 So, there's just some concern that 99 00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:37,320 the boat might be misrepresented by the press. 100 00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:39,420 Misrepresented how? 101 00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:42,020 As a yacht. 102 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:44,640 Is it a yacht? 103 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:46,360 No, it's, uh... 104 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,490 It's not a yacht. It's the guy's fishing boat. 105 00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:51,150 You know, it's a dinghy, really. 106 00:04:51,990 --> 00:04:54,250 All right, fine. Sure, okay. 107 00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:56,350 All right. I'll see you. 108 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,080 Does this boat have a jacuzzi? 109 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,700 Why do you ask? 110 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,380 Oh, no, Mike! 111 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,540 Aw, Mike, no! 112 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,340 We're talking scandal! We're talking kickback! 113 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,740 We're talking news footage 114 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,510 of crumbling inner-city schools 115 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,830 cross-cut with photos 116 00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,870 of a janitor sitting in his jacuzzi 117 00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:14,970 aboard a 60-foot yacht. 118 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,750 It's got a big mother of a satellite dish. 119 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,860 Oh! 120 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,800 Hey, hey. You guys read my article yet? 121 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,000 Ah, yes. 122 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,880 It was fascinating. I'm having it framed. 123 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,370 Mike, Wordsworth is my favorite poet, too. 124 00:05:29,470 --> 00:05:31,650 Is that who I put? 125 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,810 They faxed me this little questionnaire. 126 00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:37,250 Since when do you kayak on the weekends? 127 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:40,400 I kayak in my spare time. 128 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,620 In my spare time... 129 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,220 Of which I have none. 130 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,220 However do you find time for all your hobbies, 131 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,470 playing squash, cooking pasta, 132 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:54,470 and contemplative introspection? 133 00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:57,630 Thinking, Mike? That's your hobby? 134 00:05:57,730 --> 00:05:58,950 You guys are missing the point. 135 00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:00,470 The point is, 136 00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:03,040 I'm the sexiest man in New York, 137 00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:06,240 And I bet statistically, I'm sexier than all of you put together... 138 00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:07,920 Yeah, maybe, but that's only 139 00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:10,020 because Stuart's dragging us down. 140 00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:14,130 Well, be that as it may, 141 00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:15,290 I got a date for tomorrow night. 142 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:17,390 and if tradition holds, none of you do. 143 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,610 I'll tell you what. I'll pass the savings on to you. 144 00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:23,660 I suggest dividing Mrs. Winston up 145 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,220 into easy-to-swallow 30-minute shifts. 146 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,700 This isn't fair. You have a live-in date. 147 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,800 You'll never have to go on Helen duty. 148 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,510 I'll tell you what I'll do. 149 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:36,590 If all of you get dates for Friday night, 150 00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:38,690 I'll take care of Mrs. Winston. 151 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:43,800 Of course, the banquet would probably have been canceled, 152 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,020 what with hell having frozen over and all. 153 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:48,440 James, 154 00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:50,280 would you like to go to dinner with me Friday night? 155 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:51,360 Sure. 156 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:52,720 No, no, hey, wait a minute. 157 00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:54,370 Karen, would you go to dinner with me? 158 00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:55,850 I'd love to! Oh, great. 159 00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,950 You can't. No. Hey, that's not fair. 160 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,150 Well, Stuart, Carter... 161 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,920 Guess you guys will be sharing Helen duty. 162 00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:20,450 Pick you up at 7:00? 163 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,680 You know, I take it there is some impropriety 164 00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:27,080 going on down at that school. 165 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,840 Well, that depends on what you mean by impropriety, sir. 166 00:07:28,940 --> 00:07:30,440 Larceny, fraud, embezzlement. 167 00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:32,540 Well, then, yes. 168 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:35,160 So have you briefed Paul? 169 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,730 Yeah. I told him we want to keep it quiet. 170 00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:39,410 You know, we want to do our own internal investigation. 171 00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:40,890 There's no telling how high up the... 172 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:43,650 Hmm. ...ladder this thing goes, 173 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:46,140 so we wouldn't want to make the mistake of... 174 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,860 Can I help you at all, sir? 175 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,080 You know, they're right. You are a very sexy man. 176 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,060 Striking. 177 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,160 All right, sir, I'm going to be honest with you. 178 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,170 I'm already taken. 179 00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,950 You know, uh, 180 00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:01,630 you better get used to people looking at you, 181 00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:04,590 because from now on, everything you do is a story. 182 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,710 I mean, the restaurants you eat at, 183 00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:08,720 the movies that you see, the way you look. 184 00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:11,160 I'm sure it's not going to be that much of a burden, sir. 185 00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,400 Once you're in the public spotlight, 186 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,440 you can't get out. 187 00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:16,760 You walk down the street, 188 00:08:16,860 --> 00:08:20,610 you start to feel people looking at you. 189 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:25,170 Everywhere you turn, nothing but eyes staring... 190 00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,490 Judging... 191 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,520 Gazing into the very recesses of your soul. 192 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,220 MIKE: No, no. Wait, wait. Stop. 193 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,320 ASHLEY: What? What's the matter? 194 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,230 I, I can't do this. 195 00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,330 What is it? 196 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,730 Uh, I don't know. I just... 197 00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:46,990 I feel weird... 198 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:49,240 Like, uh... 199 00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:51,340 Like people are watching me. 200 00:08:53,140 --> 00:08:54,560 Well, why don't you close your eyes 201 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,600 and just let me help you get over it? 202 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,960 No. Honey, you don't understand. 203 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,850 This is like, uh... 204 00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:02,950 It's like a major malfunction... 205 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,630 Kind of a hydraulics problem. 206 00:09:06,150 --> 00:09:08,330 What do you mean? 207 00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:12,820 Okay, uh, you know when your foot falls asleep? 208 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,280 Yeah. I just shake it real hard and stomp on it. 209 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,720 Not a good idea. 210 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,230 Oh. 211 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:24,330 Oh... 212 00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:29,510 Hey there, sexy. 213 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,200 You're looking mighty fine today. 214 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:32,800 Right back at you, Roberta. 215 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,080 You're number one. 216 00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:35,880 You know it, kid. 217 00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:37,980 I'm living a lie. 218 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,890 Honey, really, it's going to be fine. 219 00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:43,890 No. I'm a big, fat phony. 220 00:09:43,990 --> 00:09:46,410 MAN: Hey, sexiest man in New York, up top! 221 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:47,810 I can't go on with this. 222 00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:50,050 This has got to stop. 223 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,610 Hey, Mike, nice tie. 224 00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:54,300 Oh, for God's sake, will you people please leave him alone? 225 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,400 What do you want from him? 226 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,800 Thanks, honey. That's much better. 227 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,530 Everything all right? 228 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:09,310 Yeah. Fine. 229 00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:11,410 All right, so whip it out. 230 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,200 What? 231 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,760 The football pool. 232 00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:18,280 Giants over Dallas. I won. 233 00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,380 Oh, God, the football pool. 234 00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:24,490 Oh, thank God. Okay. 235 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,490 Here you go. That's a 20, Mike. 236 00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:28,970 Yeah. Well, you keep the rest 237 00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:31,350 because I'm just going to go lie down. 238 00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,540 ...which are just a few of the many reasons 239 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,140 why the mayor has issued this proclamation 240 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,260 making today pedestrian safety day. 241 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,660 Yeah. Yes, Ashley? 242 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,700 Thank you. I just wanted to follow up on that audit 243 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,910 of that high school out in Queens. 244 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:47,870 First, I'd like to respond to any and all 245 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:49,970 pedestrian safety-related questions. 246 00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:53,390 Okay, then. 247 00:10:53,490 --> 00:10:55,760 Have the school books, in fact, been audited? 248 00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:56,840 Ah, no. 249 00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:58,120 So all the funds are accounted for? 250 00:10:58,220 --> 00:10:59,800 Yes. They have. That's correct. 251 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:01,480 But you don't really know that, 252 00:11:01,580 --> 00:11:03,760 because as you said, the books haven't been audited yet, right? 253 00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:06,370 Right. Wrong. Wrong. 254 00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:07,850 That's, uh, I mean, uh... 255 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,950 Why are you doing this to me? 256 00:11:11,390 --> 00:11:12,450 ASHLEY: What are we doing? 257 00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:14,450 MIKE: We're just coming home 258 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:15,850 for a little early lunch. 259 00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,500 Mike, it's quarter after 9:00. 260 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,700 A late breakfast. 261 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,540 All right, you know why we're here. 262 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,640 I got to get right back on the horse. 263 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,890 Does the horse have any say in this? 264 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,830 The horse gets no say. 265 00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:34,050 If the horse likes, it can whinny. 266 00:11:35,090 --> 00:11:36,910 All right, now, please, 267 00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:39,020 just strip and lie back on the bed. 268 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:41,720 Excuse me? 269 00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:43,360 Do you have any idea 270 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:46,320 how many people subscribe to Manhattan magazine? 271 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:49,050 246,000. 272 00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,890 I feel like I'm having sex in the middle of Yankee stadium, 273 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:55,750 and they're all watching me and judging me. 274 00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,140 Honey, maybe you should see someone about this. 275 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,240 You know, talk to somebody, a professional. 276 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,320 Is there a good reason you're not naked yet? 277 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,630 If I do this, it is only because I love you 278 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,590 and because it is clear that you're about to lose your mind. 279 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,070 Well, those are two excellent reasons 280 00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:15,910 to have sex with a person. 281 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:18,390 All right. Now, I just... 282 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:19,920 I got to remember... 283 00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:23,080 no matter how much they may want me, 284 00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:25,680 I'm not making love to the entire city. 285 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,280 You just got to narrow it down. 286 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,320 A few square city blocks. 287 00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,430 Pretend I'm Chinatown. 288 00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,450 Chinatown? 289 00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:36,530 Oh, yeah. 290 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,050 Yeah. I like that. 291 00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:39,490 Mmm. Chinatown. 292 00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:41,620 Mmm. I'm thinking... 293 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,740 I'm thinking silk kimonos. 294 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,300 I'm thinking geisha girls. 295 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,580 Geisha girls are Japanese. 296 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,700 So? 297 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,420 So are kimonos. So? 298 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,810 So we shouldn't have culturally insensitive sex. 299 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,890 Not exactly my biggest problem right now. 300 00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:02,580 I'll apologize to the Pacific rim when we're done. 301 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,120 I'm sorry. 302 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:07,000 Okay, where were we? 303 00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:09,160 I mean, you were just trying to help. 304 00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:10,720 Oh, yeah. Chinatown. 305 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,250 Mmm. Yeah. 306 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,350 I'm thinking chopsticks. 307 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:15,930 I'm thinking... 308 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:18,630 Dead ducks hanging in store windows. 309 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000 You've ruined Chinatown for me. 310 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,460 Well, it's a big city. 311 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,560 We just got to try someplace else. 312 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:32,580 Little Italy? 313 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:33,630 Mmm. 314 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,730 Oh, bene, bene. Molto bene. 315 00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:40,470 Checkered tablecloths. 316 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,390 Um, tiramisu. 317 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:44,200 Penne puttanesca. 318 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,300 You're making me hungry. 319 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,840 No, no. It's just New York. 320 00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:51,300 How about Santa Fe? 321 00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:53,480 BOTH: No. 322 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:54,650 Minneapolis? 323 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,750 No. Houston? 324 00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:59,190 Houston? Houston. 325 00:14:01,870 --> 00:14:03,870 Houston. 326 00:14:04,270 --> 00:14:06,280 We have a problem. 327 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,020 We have just got to stop obsessing about this. 328 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,910 You're right. You're right. 329 00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:19,370 I mean, it's not really that big a deal. 330 00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:23,530 I won't blame you if you want to leave me. 331 00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:27,320 Come on. I love you, and I will love you 332 00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:29,420 even if you can never have sex again. 333 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,540 Thanks. 334 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,780 Up until this moment, I hadn't considered that possibility. 335 00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:39,010 Excuse me. 336 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:41,890 Aren't you on Helen duty tonight? 337 00:14:41,990 --> 00:14:44,910 'Cause I'm Helen, and where have you been? 338 00:14:46,390 --> 00:14:47,500 You know, down at the office, 339 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,300 we don't refer to it as Helen duty. 340 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,780 We refer to it as Helen privilege. 341 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,440 You really didn't have to get me a corsage, James. 342 00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:01,670 I thought it would make it look more like a real date. 343 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,770 If you were prom king, maybe! 344 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,150 Oh, I'm just kidding. 345 00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:07,390 We're gonna have a good time. 346 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,840 Well, you better believe it, 347 00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:10,940 'cause look what I smuggled in. 348 00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:15,140 We got peach schnapps. 349 00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:21,290 You're kidding. 350 00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:23,530 We're gonna party very hard tonight. 351 00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:25,630 You're not kidding. 352 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:28,470 So, both of you guys are in a rowboat... 353 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,540 No, no, no. Stop me if you've heard this one. 354 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,630 Right now, 100,000 papers are being printed up, 355 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:43,810 and every one of them has a picture of a janitor on a yacht. 356 00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:46,670 And you know why, Karen? 357 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,770 Because he was cleaning it? 358 00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,680 Because of me. Because I can't do my job. 359 00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:52,880 I'm an albatross. 360 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:55,320 Are you gonna eat that cherry? 361 00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:56,520 So, how are you guys doing? 362 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,620 Paul's making me sad. 363 00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:02,810 You should go and dance. 364 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:04,910 Okey-dokey. 365 00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:07,530 What's up? 366 00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:09,630 Ah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm, I'm fine. 367 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,180 How many drinks have you had? 368 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,280 Oh, this is my first one. 369 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,460 Really? 370 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,730 All right. All right. Two. 371 00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:30,850 Unbelievable. 372 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:33,580 Hey, Paul. Let me ask you something. 373 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,260 How much do you weigh? 374 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:39,080 I don't know. About 175. 375 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,840 Popular kid in school, were you? 376 00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:42,950 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 377 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:45,390 Yeah, guys love me. Yeah. Yeah. 378 00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:47,410 Where did you go to college? 379 00:16:47,510 --> 00:16:48,530 Notre Dame. 380 00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:49,810 There it is. I see it. 381 00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:52,450 What? What? I did. I went to Notre Dame. 382 00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:54,260 Paul, you have a tell. 383 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,940 You tip it when you lie. 384 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,340 I do not. 385 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,460 Oh, yeah, really? 386 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,380 When did you lose your virginity? 387 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,740 I don't know. When I was 16. 388 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:02,780 Paul. 389 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,910 All right. I was in college. Paul. 390 00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:07,230 All right! I was 33. 391 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,950 But, oh, Mike, you should have seen her. 392 00:17:09,050 --> 00:17:10,950 She was beautiful. She was a model. 393 00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:12,550 You know, she didn't like me at first, 394 00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:15,200 But then, oh, then, she was head-over-heels for me. 395 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,200 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 396 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,040 I touch my face when I lie! 397 00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:20,520 Oh, my God! 398 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:22,740 Oh, Mike! Oh, no! Oh, God! 399 00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:25,690 Carter, let me ask you something. 400 00:17:25,790 --> 00:17:27,890 Shoot. 401 00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,990 Suppose I was... 402 00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:34,110 You know. 403 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,260 Gay, Stuart. The word is gay. 404 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,440 It only has one syllable. I know you can say it. 405 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,040 Okay. Suppose I was gay. 406 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,810 Would you find me... No! 407 00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:54,770 Not even a... No! 408 00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:56,680 I work out. 409 00:17:56,780 --> 00:17:58,780 I don't care. 410 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,780 Can I, can I ask you something? 411 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,760 Fire away. 412 00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:07,010 When you, uh... 413 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:08,530 When you first started making speeches, 414 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,010 you know, and running for office, 415 00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:13,730 and being in the public eye, 416 00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:18,400 Did you develop any problems, you know, 417 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,380 handling the pressure? 418 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:22,500 You know, 419 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,640 I've never told anybody about this before. 420 00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:28,910 Once I took Helen 421 00:18:29,010 --> 00:18:31,750 to this beautiful, old romantic inn 422 00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:33,850 to get away for the weekend, 423 00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:36,790 and, bam, it happened. 424 00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:38,720 That's right. 425 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,560 Bam! 426 00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,040 That's the way it was for me. 427 00:18:42,140 --> 00:18:44,140 My golf game went right out the window. 428 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:48,890 And by your golf game, 429 00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,990 I take it you actually... 430 00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:54,190 Mean your golf game. 431 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,170 I used to play every day. 432 00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:00,380 Sometimes twice if I had the stamina. 433 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,140 Then I became Mayor Winston. 434 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,420 I completely fell apart. 435 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,340 I can still manage to make it to the green, 436 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:08,820 but then I'd pull my putter out... 437 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,930 (POIT) Nothing. 438 00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:13,710 It just... It just didn't feel right. 439 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:15,310 Exactly. 440 00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:18,190 My confidence was shot. 441 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,800 You know, and you can't fix that at the driving range. 442 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,000 Oh, no. 443 00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,100 You can practice by yourself all day... 444 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:29,200 It's just not the same. 445 00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,310 You speak the truth. 446 00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,450 So, what did you do? 447 00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:36,050 I mean, how did you get past it? 448 00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:38,150 I didn't. I quit the game. 449 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,860 Golf isn't everything, Mike. 450 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:46,680 Oh, but what if you really, really loved golf? 451 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,660 Well... 452 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,460 If I was going to try to get back on the course, 453 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,670 I think I would focus 454 00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:54,930 on what drew me there in the first place. 455 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,570 The pure, simple 456 00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:01,650 beauty of the game. 457 00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,980 The beauty of the game? 458 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,680 Thank you, sir. 459 00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,790 Are you a golfer, Flaherty? 460 00:20:13,590 --> 00:20:15,590 Uh, used to be. 461 00:20:16,390 --> 00:20:18,790 Haven't played much in a while. 462 00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:23,900 I'm thinking of taking it up again. 463 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,400 Well, you should. Best six hours of your life. 464 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,480 I think that might be a little optimistic, sir. 465 00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:35,850 Well, this has been a little slice of heaven. 466 00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:38,470 He's awful cute, though. 467 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,570 JAMES: Thank you. 468 00:20:41,850 --> 00:20:46,560 You are so unbelievably beautiful. 469 00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:48,660 JAMES: Thank you. 470 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:55,210 When I look into your eyes, 471 00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:57,630 I just want to be with you for the rest of my life. 472 00:20:58,470 --> 00:21:00,370 Excuse us. 473 00:21:00,470 --> 00:21:03,050 Mike, there are people around. 474 00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:04,770 You know what? 475 00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:06,980 I don't care. 476 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,180 I want you 477 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,460 right here and right now. 478 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,500 You don't have to put this kind of pressure on yourself. 479 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,600 This really is not the kind of place... 480 00:21:19,130 --> 00:21:20,550 Let's go. Yeah. 481 00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:23,090 Excuse us. Coming through. Deputy mayor. Official business. 482 00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:30,300 MIKE: It's alive! 483 00:21:32,820 --> 00:21:34,120 I don't want to be baby-sat 484 00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:36,220 every time we leave the house. 485 00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,570 So I suppose I could, 486 00:21:39,670 --> 00:21:42,270 in situations where your career is at stake, 487 00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:45,030 Take more care to be... 488 00:21:45,910 --> 00:21:47,920 Appropriate. 489 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,980 That's my deputy mayor and his girlfriend. 490 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,540 Mmm. Mmm. 491 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,580 They seem very happy. 492 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,690 You would be, too, if you just had sex. 493 00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:02,730 Father!